Tuesday, February 15, 2011

The Cringes

Today I found myself cringing again. I can't help it. Every time I look at my "to do" list, I see that one item that makes me cringe. That item that causes me to shy away and look for other things to do.

"Finish Jute 3"

Three oh-so innocent words. Heck, that's really just two words and a number. Eleven characters and two spaces. Weak.

And yet I can't even think about them without feeling uncomfortable. It's the kind of uncomfortable that I feel when I'm in an awkward situation.

I wonder if that's because I am 99% of the way through writing the last book in the series. I wonder if maybe I'm reluctant to part with it after three years. More likely, it's that I know that the final 1 percent represents a ton of hard work and plot hole fixing and loose end tying. When I wrote the first draft for book three, I knew there would be one difficult part to write, and I kept putting it off and putting it off.

Finally, I got to the end and there was this hole just sitting there, staring back at me.

Darn hole.

My daughter has declared that if I won't finish the book, she will. And I'm close to taking her up on it. I mean, at least she's willing to try. I can't even open the word processor for fear I'll have to type something.

Friday, February 4, 2011

Of New Beginnings

So far, the new year has brought more than its fair share of newness. Nothing major, of course, but a host of changes and new experiences have been lining up since early January.

My best friend moved away (again!). I'm going to coach my daughter's softball team. I have some new team mates at work. Out of the blue, my older daughter -- the shyest of the shy! -- auditioned for the school play and will be up there on a stage singing and dancing. My younger daughter seems to have suddenly turned a corner and matured about 3 years over night.

With so much new and changing around me, I would typically expect to be feeling uneasy and uncomfortable. But that's really not the case at the moment. I'm happy. I'm encouraged and excited and filled with an eager anticipation.

There are some larger changes on the horizon, though. Things hurtling toward me that I won't be able to avoid, even if I want to. Of course, we'll tackle those as they come, enjoying the good and dealing with the less so.

This is all reflected in simple things like our garden. The chickens are laying again, the sun's been out for weeks, the winter garden never stopped, but now we'll have to make room for the new stuff we're about to plant.

So here's to the year of new!