More Editing Notes

I'm a third of the way through the first book, and I'm into my second really tough section. The issue here is that I hit the fast forward button and only provided a summary of what happened when I wrote the first draft:

"Over the next several months..."

Like a montage in a movie, but with even fewer details. It makes sense from one point of view: I had the section in there because it helps move the story forward. That said, what we're skipping over is the first few months of a friendship and a lot of research/exploration. That kind of stuff is a treasure chest of opportunity, so I'm working at fleshing it all out. It'll take a while, but I planned on this one being the biggest hurdle.

Also, since I've already written all three "books" (50 - 60k words each), I can go back now and "retcon" some facts/scenes to make things work better.

The Edits, Part Two

Eight chapters in and this is hard work. I'm finding that I get distracted easily, and then getting back into the work is hard. I love the story, and I know what I need to do to fix it, but it's "hard" work. It's not just fixing typos. It's moving sections around, grafting and transplanting, and then fixing all the plumbing so all the pieces line up.

An hour or two per day, I tell myself. Just that much time and I can be done with all three Jute books in time for November's NaNoWriMo. I can do this!

Today was interesting because I found that I had a slow "flashback" section up near the beginning of the story, but it really didn't need to be there. Instead, that information could easily be included in a later conversation/scene and I could have it explained from the MC's point of view, rather than as a momentum-killing infodump. So the day's work is clear, but making it happen is not, er, happening. I find any and every excuse to context switch away (hello, blog entry!).

Anyway, removing/dealing with the show-don't-tell sections (I don't think there are _that_ many of them) is always an interesting challenge. I don't want them to seem contrived. Each one is a puzzle to solve.

Now, if I could just stay away from flickr/twitter/blogger long enough to solve a few of those puzzles...

The Edits

Today I went through the comments and suggestions and edits from an editor I hired a little over a year ago. She dissected my Nanowrimo novel I wrote for my daughters. I've mentioned the book before, it's the first of three in a series for the "Middle Grade" audience about some girls who discover they can make magic charms. Before you roll your eyes, at least there aren't any zombies/werewolves/vampires/Biebers. Just sayin'.

Well, I actually went through every comment, every line and really tried to see a larger picture behind them, rather than just the one sentence or word or section they mentioned.

And I think I have a good understand of what she was trying to say, and after not really looking at the book or the edits for a year, I'm really in a good place to squeeze every bit of usefulness out of them, while not taking anything personally or rabbit-holing on minor points.

The end result was about 1000 words in a new scene, and about a thousand ideas for places and ways in which I could improve the story. I'm off for the weekend, but I hope to get back into this same writing groove next week.

The Slows (and a garden rundown)

Yes, it seems that I've slowed down quite a bit, eh?

Well, that's only because just about everything else has fallen into a kind of quick pace. Seriously, time is flying past all too quickly. I'm finding myself scratching my head, wondering "where did the week go?"

The garden is growing. Tomatoes coming in (yum!). Oddly enough, the pests seem to be leaving the tomatoes/cucumbers/peppers alone. Heck, even the blueberries are safe. Can't say the same for the poor strawberries though. All season long we only got about two of them. The rest got chomped.

We never did follow through on our threat to go crazy planting corn. Instead, we ended up with a lone plant, something one of the kids brought home. It grew to about waist high before a squirrel (I presume) gnawed through the middle, cutting it down like a beaver fells trees.

I trimmed the heck out of the pomegranate during the late winter. It's tripled (at least) in size since then but unfortunately it's returned to its former habit of dropping every single blossom. It's frustrating.

Anyone know if peppers can cross pollinate? We have a plant that produced two measly jalapeno peppers last year. It survived the winter so we left it growing. Yesterday we harvested what should have been a very large jalapeno. Instead, it was a somewhat small bell pepper.

The sweet potatoes we planted got shaded/crowded by some squash and so they're still relatively small. No idea if we'll tear out the squash or just let things go. See, we're lazy. Not really "I'm too lazy to go outside" lazy, more of a "I don't feel like experimenting in the garden" lazy. It's sad.

The potted lime tree is zooming along, there has to be at least 20 limes on there now. Can't wait to start harvesting. The lemon and key lime... Well, let's just say they're not participating.

And the chickens! They're doing well. We only have the three, but they lay enough that we're always falling behind, giving away eggs occasionally as the fridge gets packed. One of the birds, Mohawk, goes broody every couple of months.

Project: Floors and Baseboards

When we moved into our house way back, oh, nearly 11 years ago, we pulled up the carpet and exposed the original parquet hardwood floors. They were in terrible shape, but we preferred that to the "renter" carpet that had been in place for the last several years.

But two rooms, the back bedroom and the office, gave us problems. The bedroom's hardwood had been removed at some point, so we had to put carpet in (we couldn't afford the cost or time it would have taken to put in hardwood). And the floor in the office was so bad we felt we'd have to put carpet back in.

We finally got around to putting hardwood in the bedroom and refinishing the floors in the office. Some before and afters:

 Above: Office, just look at that floor. Ick. Below, the girls room, with the 11 year old carpet and original baseboards:

 Above, a closet we added during the remodel. That's laminate floor in there. Below, the original closet in the bedroom with the some original floor they didn't tear out.

And so that was "then" -- And here's now! We did the "demo" work -- tearing out the old carpet, tack strip, staples, and baseboards. The floor guys put in the floors (PROTIP: If you're a contractor, send your A team to work on a house, or let the homeowners know you're sending the scrubs in. Some people would prefer to pay a bit more to secure your full attention and/or skill set.). Then we put in the baseboards ourselves. We bought a really cool electric brad nailer and my wife did all the installation while I did the cutting in the back yard. Worked like a charm. We did the two rooms in maybe 5 hours, with several breaks. Easy!

 And here below was the only real tricky part, that's a 45 degree corner, so each of those angles on the baseboard is 22.5 degrees. This was our first and only attempt. Got it close enough that a tiny bit of filler in the gap was all we needed.

 And the girls' room. More of the same (another 45 degree corner) with two closets and a 13 foot wall, this one took longer, but it all came together and the kids are thrilled with their new floor.

Writing Update/Validation

I haven't been writing much at all lately, but I do have an update. My younger daughter is just about to finish fourth grade. Bear with me here. Her teacher spends time reading aloud from books during the year, mostly on Thursdays but occasionally at other times when there's a spare moment.

Earlier this year after the teacher had finished reading whatever story they were going through, my daughter asked the teacher if she would read "my dad's book" to the class. My daughter has a copy I gave her and she keeps it in her backpack.

The teacher agreed, but only if she had my permission. I was surprised to find out, and nervous, but also very curious about what my target demo would think so of course I said "Yes!"

Fast forward to two weeks ago when I went to the school to pick up my kids. Several fourth graders approached me and started asking all kinds of questions about my book! They wanted to know if I would draw a picture of a statue mentioned in there, or if I could tell them what was going to happen next. Apparently my daughter flat out refuses to "spoil" her classmates.

And now with just one week of school left, they're on the final chapter. There's a chance they won't finish the book so I pointed the teacher to the free .pdf download at lulu.com so she could tell the kids' parents where to find it if they're interested.

I have to admit that this has started to rejuvenate my interest in writing again, after a good long 6 months of apathy. One of the interesting things about this whole story is that the teacher told me that every kid in the class voted to keep reading my book and they have all expressed interest on their own without being prompted. I'm sure my press agent, er, I mean daughter, has something to do with that but I also like to believe that the kids are really enjoying the characters and plot and setting. Also, hearing that the kids actually laughed at the parts I intended to be funny led to a sigh of relief.

And that's especially fun for me because an editor I hired to read that book told me that I should "spend more time around kids, maybe volunteer to be a big brother" thinking that I was not relating to my target audience.

But I think this is a little validation, and who doesn't like a little validation?

Softball, Part 2

Over the last 5 months, I've spent an incredible amount of time with my daughter, mostly just the two of us. We play catch for hours, lazily chatting away. We drive to games and practices, arrive early, stay late, all the while making me the happiest father on the planet as I absorb and savor every last moment.

You see, I know the end is coming.

My older daughter is only 11, but I know the time will come -- swiftly -- where she won't have the time to spend with me.

But for now, we're learning about life via softball. Now, don't get me wrong. We play in a recreational league and we don't have our hopes pinned on an athletic scholarship or anything, but she loves playing and I would love just about anything that keeps us close like this.

As the season progressed, the A pitcher ended up missing a total of 4 games which mean that my daughter (B pitcher) had to pitch four complete games along with some fill-in innings in the rest of the games.

In every game, she faced some girls two years older than her and as much as 18 inches taller. She stood in there and pitched against them all. She gave up hits, hit batters, walked in runs. But she kept trying and kept practicing.

"Ok, just one more strike, then we'll go inside," she would often say as she pitched on the sidewalk in front of our house with me playing catcher. And I'd smile and forget about dinner for a while longer as the sun set and forced me to squint to find the ball in the dim light.

But in our modern society with our upward mobility and tiger moms, it's tempting to focus on the results. And her team lost every game she pitched. (They also lost all but one game the entire season...)

In the last game she pitched, we had an umpire that really seemed to get that this was a league where learning was as important as winning. He walked out to the pitcher's circle in the first inning and explained to my daughter why he had called the last pitch a ball, and how she had to "present" the ball/etc. prior to pitching -- just some basic rules she had to follow.

I saw a look of determination on her face as she got ready to pitch to the next batter. She threw the fastest pitch I'd seen her pitch all year, and it was a strike. She built on that success and struck out two batters. She managed to get out of the inning only giving up two runs. Then she went right back out there and did it again. In fact, in one inning she struck out three batters, one on a "change up," but still gave up 3 runs (dropped third strike rule...).

She never once blamed the catcher for dropping those third strikes. She didn't blame the umpire for calling some close pitches against her. She didn't give up when she got called out on strikes twice at the plate. She cheered on her teammates win or lose, even if they couldn't really hear her tiny voice.

Yes, they lost that last unremarkable and unimportant game by two runs, but she had her best game yet. We got into the car and she immediately started to make plans for more pitching lessons, more time outside on the sidewalk and in the yard, working on hitting and bunting. I smiled all the way home.