I'm Old

I'm old. I suppose that's not news if you know me. I complain about "kids these days" all the time. In fact, I cannot resist. Here's one now: I saw a girl this week with a rain coat literally tied around her waist. She was standing in the pouring rain, wearing just a t-shirt. I think she didn't want to be seen at school wearing a rain coat. What kind of a dork wears rain coats?

But today I realized that this getting old business is real. And that's fine. Happens to everyone, or so I'm told. What sucks, though, is the way the world is letting me know I'm old. It's these little, almost subtle things. Like when the Sci-Fi channel changed its name to SyFy and replaced most of its programming with Professional Wrestling, Ghost Hunting/Finding/Recording shows, and Sharktopus-esque TV movies.

Message? Kids watch wresting and like ghost stories and watching somewhat known actors make "rent movies" about monsters.

And Taco Bell? What happened to you, man? You used to be cool. We used to hang out. I'd get some nachos, maybe an enchirito, maybe a burrito supreme. We had good times, right? But now? You're selling stuff that needs quotation marks: "food" I guess you'd call it. I mean, making taco shells out of Doritos? Is that even legal?

Now, where are my reading glasses and my cane? I think I hear hoodlums out on my lawn.